IF I WERE: A robot

I'd make my bed every day. I'd brush and floss after every meal. I'd do the dishes, dust, disinfect. I'd be very, very clean.

I'd hit on electricians. I'd look up to superconductors. I'd worry about shorts.

Life would make sense. I would enjoy a good cup of coffee without worrying about the existential ramifications of spending three dollars for a beverage that actually depletes my liquid reserves.

Work would involve a lot less singing, very little snacking and absolutely no laughing.

I would be energetic. A team player. A people person. Ready to serve. A piece of work.