Wednesday, September 27, 2006


I joined a church last weekend. I got dressed up, pinned a red flower to my shirt, repeated some words and had some folks congratulate me.

I'm not sure what I was expecting, but I really wanted more. Some sort of ritual involving bloodletting. Or a test. You know, take this pitcher of water and an everything bagel and sit on the banks of the Potomac for a month. So much for self-sacrifice.

This whole church business has reminded me how messed up the adult world is. We have our priorities all wack. Even in church. And so, I propose a New Reformed Church of Children.

Why do churches separate children from adults? If old people are allowed in, so should children. Old people and children have a lot in common, they're both chronologically closer to the meaning of life than the average adult. They may not be able to articulate it, but just watch a kid smile and you know you've got a little baby buddha throwing dharma at you in spades. Blow some bubbles from the altar and watch all the boys and girls do the right thing. Pop, pop, pop. Give a toddler the pulpit and you'll see Love in the darndest of places. Give up the structure of your important life and realize that you had this thing figured out years ago.

I'm going to bring this idea to the board of directors of my church. I think they'll eat it up.

[SECRET SERIOUS NOTE: Yes, I did join the church. Yes, I am happy. Yes, I think you are going to hell.]

Friday, September 22, 2006

Little Rocket

Two things first, then first things second:
1. This is really important.
2. I'm a fact.

Can we be friends?

Thursday, September 21, 2006

Tap Tap

I want in ya bastard people.

Wednesday, September 20, 2006

Let's Do This Thing #2

"It's just so much."

"Eat what you can. I'll feed the rest to the dogs."

"That's a good idea."


"It's just so much."

"Take her for a spin. If you don't like it, take it back."

"That's a good thought."


"It's just so much."

"Focus on the positive. You'll never have to pay for a meal again."

"That's a good point."

Saturday, September 16, 2006

If I Were a Robot On Vacation

Using an advanced algorithm, I would forget the current day of the week.

Replace function would be used to convert work time to domino time, meeting time to shooting the shit time and break time to nap time.

The meaning of life would be compressed to food, water and pleasure.

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

Some Things Are Better Left Unsaid

Matt Sesow is a good friend and a great painter. He let me chat with him on April Fool's Day 2006. I've finally found time to round the audio files up and transcribe the conversation.

The first installment of the interview is on Rock Heals today.