Sunday, May 18, 2008
IMAGINE WHAT IT FEELS LIKE TO BE WHOLE
So... you'll excuse me if I ask this question. And, you're allowed to get angry with me if you have to. Is everything alright?
Cause, I can't help but noticing that your head has exploded. And I see you're acting liking everything is fine and dandy. In fact, you've been signing that exact phrase, "Everything is fine and dandy," ever since you got out of bed, showered, put on a suit and then tried to shove oatmeal down your shattered gullet.
Look, I can't imagine what you went through when you realized your head was gone. I can understand you might be in denial.
Excuse me, stop shoving. Seriously, stop it. Thank you.
Look, I'm not sure how you're going to find your way to the office. And, to be honest, I'm not sure they're going to want you. Not that they'll say anything. The ACLU will make sure of that. If you want to continue as normal, you have the right. It's just. Look. Things are not normal. This is not normal.
Okay, that's gross. Now you've stained your suit. Here, if you promise to stop I'll go get some tonic water and a rag.
Wait, are you walking away from me? Holy shit. This is crazy. This is so like you. Guilting me into second guessing myself.
YOUR FUCKING HEAD IS BLOWN OFF!
Okay, fine. You know what? I'll give in.
EVERYTHING IS HUNKY DORY. I AM NOT WORRIED. HAVE A GOOD DAY...
Oh geez. Hey sweety. I'm sorry...
Will you just turn around for a second?
Come on back and get the lunch I packed you...
Sorry I yelled. I hope you have a good day. I love you. I really do. We'll figure this thing out. Okay? Alright?
Thank you, but woah, woah careful this suit is new. Okay, there we go. I love you bunches too. You're my sweet bumpkin. Yes, that's so true. Okay. You're going to be late. See you tonight. Smooches.